Over the past several years, I have been on a personal healing journey. As a young child, I experienced trauma, which remained locked in my right brain for many years. My mind memories of these events were vague and distorted, while my body memories were specific and clear. My right feeling brain seemed to be detached from my left thinking brain, as my mind was from my body. This, as I have now come to understand, is how I survived.
It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that my right and left brain seemed to begin to reconnect. I was suddenly plagued with nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety attacks. My body rallied to beat the rising anxiety, but my mind eventually succumbed to depression. I saw therapist after therapist after therapist, frantically trying to fix whatever was wrong with me. I spent many sleepless nights trying to piece together my broken memories and stifled emotions. It was no use. I was not yet ready to heal.
Another decade went by before I decided that I had finally had enough. My left brain existence was failing. There was something inside of me that was becoming so urgent and so painful that I could no longer contain it. It wouldn’t be long before I would break open into a million tiny pieces and I knew it. Something bigger was calling me and I was finally ready to listen.
As my right brain seemed to take over from my left, I became increasingly spiritual and creative. My days were spent meditating, doing yoga and writing poetry. I couldn’t get enough sunshine and I felt better than I had in years. I knew my dreamy state couldn’t last, however, as reality waited for me to return.
In the midst of putting my life back together, I found a Psychotherapist who specialized in trauma. She was the first therapist to identify my symptoms and offer a means to recovery. We used talk, meditation, journaling, creative, MBSR and EMDR therapies. Through these techniques, my memories and emotions began to reintegrate with my mind and body, allowing my spirit to finally heal.
My Psychotherapist was open to allowing my intuition to guide my therapy. She encouraged me to listen to it and I did. I developed an intuitive understanding of the chakra system and used it to clear each of my seven energy centres. It was a long and intense process, requiring much discipline and support, but I felt quick confidence in its effects. I now accept this healing approach to be a part of my everyday life and a lifelong commitment to wellness through self-empowerment. I also depend on the practices of other health providers when necessary.
How exactly I survived the trauma of my childhood, I may never truly understand. I no longer ask why it happened. I do, however, believe that it was my intuition that guided me back to my True Self – a Self who is still healing and developing…
I Love and Honour the Light in You!
Always, Angela ~ XOXO
WHAT’S YOUR VICTORY?
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